The extremely unpleasant...

So, as I promised, this would be a true vision of parenthood. Today's incident today doesn't involve one of my children, but my sweet (almost 8 year old) niece. Nonetheless, one of those parenting moments we all go through that is worth sharing (and warning others about).

We were having a fun little BBQ for Memorial Day with the hub's family. After the eating festivities, my niece was jonesing for a haircut. So I got the scissors and comb and started cutting. We were in the bathroom, and I had just finished a preliminary trim around her entire head when she looked at me with her hand over her mouth. Then she turned to the sink, and (you guessed it) totally lost her dinner. She hadn't been feeling well the whole day and it finally took its toll on her.

I calmly called to her mother and stood there by her and held her hair. The poor thing just kept going. Her mom told me I didn't have to stay, but I just couldn't leave her. Afterwards as we cleaned up a bit (thank goodness we were right infront of the sink) she told me she was surprised I could handle it as well as I did. I pondered this for a short while, to figure out why I was able to handle it without losing my dinner too. (Or at least getting really woozy.)

I realized that once I had kids, who had the stomach flu, or goodness knows what else, that makes them vomit, it's just not the same as it was when you were a kid. I still have semi-nightmares about an incident Moose had when he had lost his dinner after he had gone to bed. We heard him cough, or something, and then start screaming. Me and the hubs shared this millisecond look and both ran in there. Moose always hated getting sick like that and would cry everytime it happened. I just hated it. After that one incident, I used to go to bed dreading him getting sick to his stomach because I couldn't stand seeing him so sad. (Do you notice how I'm avoiding all the normal words for this. I just hate using them.)

Moose has been sick to his stomach a few times, so it has been during those few illnesses that I got over my gross factor for that type of thing. For me (and I'm sure I may just have a semi-tough constitution for this sort of stuff) I just can't think about being sick to my stomach or grossed out when my kid is so sad, or uncomfortable, or however it makes them feel. All of my mental powers kick over into how-can-I-help-this-kid-get-better Mode. I'm sure some people just can't help but feel ill around that sort of thing, but I'm fortunate enough to be able to deal, I guess.

Anyhow, so it was a semi-unpleasant way to end the evening. I'm just glad the Miss is feeling alright and not uber-sick. And no, it was not her seeing her haircut in the mirror that made her ill. (Thank you bro-in-law.) And I still absolutely, for the record, hate it when I get this type of sick, and dread the day Monkey gets it. (She has yet to really be sick like that.) I have other stories like this (one involving baby chicken noodle. Gross.) that come with parenting. Maybe another day.

For today, it was a real day job of the yucky and not so fun. Get better Miss. Hopefully we can finish that oh-so-cute haircut really soon.

I know...

This is a serious pet peeve of mine. Whenever I tell Moose to do something, or explain why we have to do something a certain way, etc. he will respond with "I know". This drives me bonkers. I guess a lot of it is the tone of voice, which is hard to blog. I used to think he learned this habit from a cousin, but I'm thinking that it might just be a kid thing. I don't know if it usually starts this young. But it drives me bonkers.

Here's an example.

Me: Moose, we don't step on the headstones at the cemetery.
Moose: But why not?
Me: They're special and we treat them nicely.
Moose: I know.

This is fictional of course. (We did visit a cemetery today.) But the jist is, it's always something that he doesn't know. It's usually something he isn't happy about, or we're telling him to do something he doesn't want to do, or he'll explain something wrong, and we'll correct him and he'll then respond with "I know". The way he says it is in that slightly whiney tone of voice. It just drives me bonkers.

Random pet peeve. I know. But I just had to share. What are yours?

Eating out...

We have officially decided that eating out with two young children under the age of 4 can be as much, if not more work, than eating at home. The service can take too long. The kid's menus can be below mediocre. And then we get home and the kids are going to bed late.  We're hoping that as our children get older and learn social/table manners it might get easier. Although I still don't know if they'll eat the food as well as they do at home. As nice as it is to not have to cook, or do the dishes, it's still so much work.  Making them stay in their seats while we wait for the appetizer. Then they won't eat that and we have to make them sit in their seats while they wait for their food. And on and on.

Maybe from now on we'll save the eating out for when it's just me and the hubs. That is relaxing.

(We were able to eat out with some family tonight. It was a fun time, but in reflection we just realized how much work eating out can be. We still like doing it, and had a good time tonight. It's just still a lot of work.)

Date Night...

Not for us, but for someone else. Last week we had a date (which included Monkey staying at home with us because she was feverish and lethargic) and dropped Moose off with a friend. Tonight, we had the pleasure of watching their little guy. He's just over 2, and a bit small for his age. It was so much fun having him over. Moose gets so worked up about him coming over (and I know he does too) but they don't end up playing much together. Moose is into the interactive play, whereas the little guy is very much a parallel player. Watching him made me remember what Moose was like when he was younger. I kinda miss that age.

Moose would play by himself for an hour. He would take out his box of cars and line them all up one by one, and then slowly drive them somewhere else and park them all next to each other again. He would do this for hours, it seemed. It was great. He was completely absorbed in his own little world.

It will be fun to see Monkey get to that stage. She's already getting so big, it's hard to believe a year has passed. We're just waiting for words to start popping out. She's expanding her sign language to: more, please, papa, mama, help, and I might be forgetting one. She used to say milk, but now refuses. I feel like she's just going to wait, and then start speaking in half sentences. My niece did that. You can never underestimate the observant ones. There's no way to tell what's going on in those brains of theirs.

All in all, such a nice night. The little guy was a joy to watch (and didn't want to go home, which was cute.) and the two hours really went by quite quickly. Now it's relax time for the parents, including a small marathon of "Life". (Our latest Netflix TV show craze.)

Brush Your Teeth...

I'm realizing over and over again that my son (and I'm sure Monkey might not be too different) can be extremely sensitive and sometimes overly emotional. The most random thing will set him off crying and throwing a fit. But more importantly, my tone of voice will completely set him off. My most natural tendency when I'm getting upset or frustrated, or when Moose isn't listening, is to raise my voice. My hubs told me a long time ago he doesn't like it. Said it gets his blood pumping faster. (at least if I get to yelling, or close to it anyway.) Over the past few years I've noticed that when I start to raise my voice (in the natural way that I do) it completely changes the way Moose responds to me. He gets more agitated, fidgety, responds slower and is overall less agreeable.

It's been hard for me to learn to change this habit of mine. I'm still not great at it, but I can say I'm getting better. Take the other day for example.

I was trying to get ready. I still needed to brush my teeth and maybe dry my hair. Just a few things. The kids had been bombarding my bedroom and bathroom, making it hard to get anything done. Monkey, by herself, I can handle. But it's when they're both in there that I can't get anything done. Moose, sadly, is always the one to push me over the edge. As I had on a few other occasions, I finally told him, "Get out of my room." He absolutely hates this. Moose cannot handle banishment. His response is, "I don't want to." To which I say, "Then go to bed." (I'm so patient, right?) To which he says, "I don't want to do that either." After a short minute of this I realized we're going the wrong way.

So I stopped, took a breath, got down on his level and held my hands out to him for a hug. His breathing is slightly jumpy, as if he was about to break into tears (which I doubt would've happened, but still.) and came in for a hug. I gave him a big hug and told him I loved him. Then I told him exactly what I wanted to get done and asked if he could play in the living room for a few minutes while I did that. He looked at me with a smile and said, "Okay Mama." It was the sweetest thing and such a 180 from where we had been 3 minutes before. I was amazed at the reaction I got from him and so pleased that I was able to turn it around.

So the next time your kids are driving you crazy and you're getting too agitated, give them a hug and tell them you love them. As for what happens after that, it will have to be better than what would've happened otherwise. Whether or not you end up being able to get your teeth brushed.

Pink flowers...

So today while at a plant store, Moose found this small sprig of pink flowers. He wanted it to keep growing, so we had a small chat about how it won't keep growing because it doesn't have roots anymore, but we can put it in water to keep it alive a little longer. It was a bit more in depth than that, but at some point I must have made the point that it would eventually die.

Fast forward about 2 hours to him already being in bed. The hubs walks past their bedroom door and hears him crying. He goes in there with the intention to be upset because he's not sleeping, only to realize he's crying because his pink flowers are going to die. What do you do with that? Bless his heart, the hubs brought him out to say bye bye to his flowers and give them a hug and kiss. So Moose kissed and hugged his pink flowers, and went back to bed, still pretty emotional. He eventually calmed down and after I got Monkey calmed down and back in her crib, I went over to soothe him a bit. After some hugs and kisses, Moose tells me he wants to have a pink flower that won't die. So I told him that tomorrow we can make him a pink flower that won't die. He was happy with that.

Bless his sweet, tender heart.

First Child Syndrome...

So I read something years ago that talked about how your placement in the family will often give you certain characteristics, etc. First children have the most easily distinguished, I think. I've realized a lot about why they say these things since I've had my own children. Here's my version.

Why Moose will be different than our other children:
*He will be the recipient of our worst parenting since we're still figuring out what on earth we're doing and he has to deal with it the longest. (And will remember the most of it too.)
*He, being the eldest and who Monkey looks up to, has to be the good example. i.e. "Moose, do xyz the right way. Be a good example to Monkey."
*He, being the only child for a small 3 years, was micromanaged way more than any of our other children will ever be. Some of those habits die hard, for him and for us. So he'll be used to a lot more grief.

I'm sure there are other things that go along with this. The reason I started thinking about this came in our trip to the library today.

As we were leaving the apartment, he went down the stairs first. As Monkey was waiting for me to pick her up she watched him go down the stairs. He had one hand on the wall as he went down. She decided she wanted to go down the same way he did. So she held my hand and went down the stairs one foot per stair the entire way down. (She did really well, I might add.)  Then, if this weren't enough, on the way back to the house after our trip to the library, she watched Moose go up the stairs. She then decided she wanted to walk up the stairs as well. So she held my hand and took the stairs one foot per step. On the second half, she even held onto the hand rail.

So as much as it pains you first children, it's not our fault. Your younger siblings are watching, and it's so much easier for us parents if you are just a good example so we don't have to re-teach them everything.  :)

Dogs...

My brother in law has this huge, but really friendly dog. For the most part, Monkey has been terrified of it. When she was younger, it had to be kept outside all the time if we were over. Or she'd be in tears. Slowly, she's been warming to him. He could be in the house, but not near her. Then he could be near her, but not look at her. Then today, out of nowhere, she decided she wanted to pet his face! It was so awesome! And she did it twice! When kids decide to do something, they do it on their own time. But when they do it, they do it! We were so proud of her making such a brave step. (She could literally fit in his abdomen.) Way to go sweetie pie!

Fishing...

So I got in really late from a girls night last night, so the house was already shut down when I got back. But we had a super busy day yesterday!

My mother in law got Moose a little guy fishing pole and we went fishing! A local place has days where they provide bait and you can go fishing at the chosen location. We didn't last terribly long at the pond (although it was longer than I thought we would.) and sadly, we didn't catch anything. But Moose had a ton of fun with his Spiderman fishing pole and enjoyed the fake worms and bobbers. Monkey actually really enjoyed it too, and at first was super mad I wouldn't let her in the water.

After that excursion, we went and got some seeds and starter plants and started some gardening at my in-laws place. They have 2 huge raised garden beds and Moose was able to help plants some beans and onions. The onions were tons of fun. We had him poking holes with his finger and then stuffing the onions in the holes. We plan on going back tomorrow to plant some more since the kids were pretty pooped by that point.

Sweet Monkey has still been a bit off. I almost took her to Urgent Care Saturday morning. She was so cranky and tired and I just didn't know what was going on. Her fever was gone, but she seemed to still be so uncomfortable. However, after a nice full diaper, she seemed to be all better. So we're thinking maybe a small bit of constipation? Hopefully she'll be back to normal in no time. Her day today was still a bit off, but that might've just been because she spent the morning/afternoon with the hubs and he does things differently than I do. Sometimes that's all it takes.

The upcoming week is looking quite busy. But I'll try to take it one day at a time. This week was so busy and hectic with my parents visiting (which was so great, the visit was too short, and we're looking forward to the next one already!) and coughs and colds. Fortunately I never got sick. (Knock on wood.) Let's hope for a calm and un-busy week this week. What do you say? I like it!

Oh, the hubs just signed his contract for next year. (Teaching) So we're officially staying put for another year. Did I already say that? I forget. If I didn't, there's the happy news. Yay for us!

Tired baby...

Today was one long exhaustion for sweet Monkey. We went to a park this morning. She had a low fever and a runny nose, so I figured she's working on her molars, which have been coming in for a while now. She completely konked out on the way home and after a quick diaper change, went to bed at the apartment. Moose insisted on going to bed at noon as well, looking forward to an evening playdate, while me and the hubs have a date. When Monkey finally got up from her nap about 4 hours later, she was super hot (much of it due to the super warm clothes she was wearing from our slightly chilly time at the park.) and had a high fever. After some tylenol and walking around in her diaper, her fever was already going down significantly. However, she was still lucky enough to stay home with us and encroach on our date while Moose got to go play.

I never like having a sick (or teething-sick) baby. But it's so precious to have them fall asleep on you. She fell asleep with me in the afternoon, and the hubs at bedtime. Hopefully she'll sleep well and be a ball of energy tomorrow. We have a lot on the menu and it will be a lot easier and way more fun if she's up for the challenge. If not, we may have to weed out our plans a bit.

It was nice to have a date. Even if Monkey was home with us. Those nice, quiet times can be so essential to couple-health. We were having regular (weekly, for the most part) date nights in our previous city. For almost 2 years. We've had an occasional one here and there for the last 8 months, but nothing close to regular. It was nice. Next week we'll be watching Moose's buddy, and the week after that: Date night! Yay for date nights!