I'm realizing over and over again that my son (and I'm sure Monkey might not be too different) can be extremely sensitive and sometimes overly emotional. The most random thing will set him off crying and throwing a fit. But more importantly, my tone of voice will completely set him off. My most natural tendency when I'm getting upset or frustrated, or when Moose isn't listening, is to raise my voice. My hubs told me a long time ago he doesn't like it. Said it gets his blood pumping faster. (at least if I get to yelling, or close to it anyway.) Over the past few years I've noticed that when I start to raise my voice (in the natural way that I do) it completely changes the way Moose responds to me. He gets more agitated, fidgety, responds slower and is overall less agreeable.
It's been hard for me to learn to change this habit of mine. I'm still not great at it, but I can say I'm getting better. Take the other day for example.
I was trying to get ready. I still needed to brush my teeth and maybe dry my hair. Just a few things. The kids had been bombarding my bedroom and bathroom, making it hard to get anything done. Monkey, by herself, I can handle. But it's when they're both in there that I can't get anything done. Moose, sadly, is always the one to push me over the edge. As I had on a few other occasions, I finally told him, "Get out of my room." He absolutely hates this. Moose cannot handle banishment. His response is, "I don't want to." To which I say, "Then go to bed." (I'm so patient, right?) To which he says, "I don't want to do that either." After a short minute of this I realized we're going the wrong way.
So I stopped, took a breath, got down on his level and held my hands out to him for a hug. His breathing is slightly jumpy, as if he was about to break into tears (which I doubt would've happened, but still.) and came in for a hug. I gave him a big hug and told him I loved him. Then I told him exactly what I wanted to get done and asked if he could play in the living room for a few minutes while I did that. He looked at me with a smile and said, "Okay Mama." It was the sweetest thing and such a 180 from where we had been 3 minutes before. I was amazed at the reaction I got from him and so pleased that I was able to turn it around.
So the next time your kids are driving you crazy and you're getting too agitated, give them a hug and tell them you love them. As for what happens after that, it will have to be better than what would've happened otherwise. Whether or not you end up being able to get your teeth brushed.
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