I was reminded recently of a lesson I thought I'd already learned as a parent. Apparently, you can learn these lessons over and over again. Oh joy. This lesson was how much my attitude affects my kids. I have learned and implemented this since I learned it when Moose was younger. However, this week I was reminded of this concept in a sister's blog. Then today I completely did what I thought I learned NOT to do. This morning I was so irritated my Moose's sounds. Sometimes he's like a broken sound effects machine that won't turn off. I get so grouchy and grumpy. As we were leaving to go to church, I tell him to knock it off. Then my sweet husband says, if we're gonna stop this behavior, let's set up a real consequence. He then proceeds to tell him if he continues to do what he's doing (And me and my hubs make a point to mimic the exact behavior we don't want them to do so there's no room for confusion. As effective as this is, it's still kinda silly.) he will have X consequence. My hubs then continues to engage him in a "find this" driving game. I was so taken my his calm and much more positive tone, compared to my growling and crabbiness.
I completely believe that my behavior affects my kids. If I wake up crabby and tired and irritable, even though my child could've had a perfectly happy day, he will also become crabby, tired, and irritable. I've also learned that it's much harder for them to get out of this slump I've created than me. One day I realized I had caused a housefull of grouchiness and tried to start over. I was able to see the error of my ways and make sense of it, vowing to have a better attitude. However, my much more underdeveloped-emotionally child was not able to just switch off the crab switch like I was. I felt horrible that I had brought his day to ruins like that. As I said, I have already learned this lesson.
Today, though, the lesson was slightly different. Some days it's like I wake up ready for a fight. I approach everything with that guarded growl, even if it wasn't deserved. Thanks to today, and my sister's blog post, I've realized that if I change my attitude and approach something that might warrant crabbiness with a more positive outlook, it completely changes the way my kids will react to their day. If I have the power to help my kids be happier, thus behaving better, and ultimately keeping me happier, then why on earth shouldn't I be doing that? My thoughts exactly.
And how about a glory for the day?
Well, this one is a mixed bag. Monkey woke up screaming last night at 11 pm. We think she's teething (with 3 potential spots where new teeth are bound to come in over the next few months. Maybe even at the same time. Wee.) The entire evening she had been one irritable mess. So this was not a great wake-up call. Well, no 11 pm wake up call is great when you've only been asleep for like an hour or less. Anyway, we tried to feed her since Miss Crank hadn't hardly had any dinner. She would not have it. So we gave her some tylenol in the hopes that she might get comfortable and set up the pak n play in the living room. We have no problem letting our kids work out their issues in the middle of the night as long as it's not keeping anyone else up. Since she shares a room with Moose, the living room is a must. Anyway, the actual semi-nice part of this ordeal was that after her freaking out and all, I sat with her on the couch. She was resting with her back on my chest, just chilling out in my lap. She was completely relaxed, holding her binky (Baby blanky with Winnie the Pooh head on it.) I sat there with her like that for between 5-10 minutes. For Monkey to sit like that, so relaxed and quiet is unprecedented. Despite it being 11 pm and me being not excited about being woken up like that, it was quite a sweet moment. It almost reminded me of nursing her when she was younger. But that's another post all together. Anyway, a small glory amidst a not of nothing glorious at all.
When you're a parent, you take what you can get.
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