Parenting advice...

Today was a good day. Not amazing, or great (mainly because my hubs had to be at work til 7) but it was good. For some reason when I know he's going to be gone that much later than usual, I shut down into minimum energy mode. I read a book most of the day while sporadically playing with the gems and letting Moose watch a bit more tv than usual. Not real tv. We only get two channels. But DVDs anyway. So I played single-parent for most of the day. The only difference was I was just hanging on until he got home. People who really have to do it alone all the time don't have that to look forward to. Again, you parents amaze me.

My interesting parenting moment from today came at a small playgroup. One of the moms was asking for potty training advice. I have learned that while some advice can be helpful, give ideas, broaden your though horizons, that sort of thing, most of the times your personal advice from what you did with your own kids is completely useless. (After writing this post, I realize that this is a bit strong. It's not useless. I just felt a bit useless today. That's all. Disregard the slightly negative tone for the rest of this paragraph.)  Now, I know many of you parents who love to share advice may strongly disagree with me. I know that sometimes it is totally helpful. Especially if someone is non-read up, hasn't seeked for many answers on their own, that sort of thing.  But otherwise, advice really doesn't help. This doesn't apply for all advice. Like what to do when your kids are sick, or fun things to do with them. But mostly with discipline, how to get kids to eat, potty training, stuff like that. I'm just learning that kids are all SO different. Beyond that, the way we parent and approach our kids about things is SO different. It's practically impossible to apply specific techniques from one kid to another. There are so many factors. Now, as I write this I realize that there are tons of parental advice that works across the board. There are tons of people who share it because it helps and has worked. I guess I just realized today that none of my advice helps anyone. Our kids are different. My kid potty trained in like 4 days. He's never wet the bed and never had trouble pooping in the potty. (From what I've heard, it can be a big problem) Moose gave up his pacifier without a struggle. He eats what I cook. There are just some struggles I'm not helpful with. My advice is totally useless. Maybe this is just me. I guess I'm just assuming that there are other people out there who have realized that what they did with their kids is not helpful for other people's kids.

Now, I don't share this is any way to discourage sharing parenting advice, tips, strategies, etc. It's helpful and often therapeutic to talk about this stuff. It's just a lesson I've learned that there are no set rules, no fail-safe strategies. Kids are all different. Parents are all different. In the end, you go with your gut. And if it doesn't work, or it sadly turns out that your parenting techniques stink, you make your bed and you sleep in it. Or more specifically, you raise you kids and have to live with them.

For a final thought, I do strongly advocate reading books on parenting, child development, anything to help understand children better, and give you tools. Each kid requires different tools, so you really need all the help you can get.

Here's to a full tool box. :)