Last night was a semi-rough night for me, which probably started my day off on a different foot. I was lost in my mind a bit throughout most of the day. I'm starting to feel more able to do things, to help out. But I'm trying to find the balance. I know I can't do everything. Especially after a night like last night. (I still slept in as long as possible, which was 8:30. With her wake-ups and nursing all along the way, of course.) I just know that I don't want to push myself too fast. It's hardly been over a week. Although my mind feels ready, and I know my body is healing really quickly, I would hate to over-do it and end up stressed out or exhausted or crabby or anything else in that ball park. The hubs has been pulling so much weight around the house, I have a hard time not feeling like I should do more. (He never asks me to, or pressures me. He's been absolutely fabulous.) This is the first time he's taken work off when we've had a baby, so I'm sure it's just a bit of an adjustment having him around this much and pitching in so much. But I've still got a little less than 2 weeks to continue adjusting, finding that balance. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Munchkin is, for the most part, a really easy baby. That has helped a ton too. She's not super demanding. She has really great awake periods where we can put her in a baby chair, or lay her somewhere and she'll just chill out. She doesn't always have to be held when she's asleep either. I'm starting to plop her in my sling more often for awake or sleep times when she wants to be held. That will be a way for me to keep taking care of her but be available to help out. I know I'll get there. The kiddos are still doing pretty good. They adore their baby sister and that's enough for me.
As me and the hubs were studying the New Testament tonight, and said a prayer together, I remembered a scripture which has brought me so much peace through different times in my life. If I think of this more often, I think it'll help me find the balance I'm looking for. It's in 2 Timothy 1:7:
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
On a lighter note, tonight as the hubs was reading a book to Moose (The Magic Tree House #8) he wasn't sure if Moose was listening or not. In the book, there was a loud "crack" sound. When he read that part, he slammed the book shut. Instead of responding with, "Why'd you close the book Papa?", which is what the hubs thought he would say, Moose started crying. He had been completely scared. It was so sad. Fortunately, he calmed down quickly. But the hubs learned his lesson! Never assume that Moose isn't listening. (Although I'm sure he would've been startled and cried even if he wasn't listening!)
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