This is something I've been thinking about lately. As a parent, you literally have to teach your kids how to live. Sure, some things will come naturally, like eventually falling asleep when you're tired, or eventually eating when you're hungry. However, as we all know, kids rarely know what's best for them. With my short experience with my 2 kids, I've learned for a certainty that we parents are literally teaching them how to do everything, and it's GOOD we do, because if we don't, no one will.
~How to sleep. Sure, there are some babies who are fantastic sleepers right out of the womb, but I like to think those are more rare. They don't know how to fall asleep on their own, they don't know how to stay asleep once they get there, they don't know how much sleep they need to function for a day. All of these things must be learned, and we need not feel bad for teaching it. This is one area we've taken very seriously (since me and the hubs take our sleep very seriously) and I feel like it's been such an awesome investment.
~How to eat. Even as newborns, some can't figure out nursing alone. They need help. When it comes to solid foods, they definitely need help. They don't know what's good for them, what keeps them healthy, what makes a balanced diet, what helps their poops keep coming. They know nothing. We are the teachers. Another area where we've taken a lot of care (at least with Moose. Monkey's still young, but I hope she'll come out as well as he did) and it's paid great rewards.
~How to obey. They definitely need to learn this. They need to learn that we know more, see more, and understand more than they do. I don't hesititate to tell Moose I don't know everything. It stops him from asking so many questions. But I most certainly know more than he does. He needs to listen up and do what I ask. Parents know more than their kids. Period. They need to learn, from us, how to obey and listen up. This one is such a super hard task, but so completely worth it. I'm still working on it everyday (and probably will til they move away) but it's worth it.
~How to disobey. Sadly, we teach them this too. When we make empty threats, tell them no and then ignore them, or a million other ways. When they're young (Monkey's in this stage now) they will test your boundaries. They want to know where they are. If you let them think there are none, they will attempt to walk all over you. And they do. I witnessed it at the McD's play area today. Sad business. No kid should walk all over their parent. We are the adults, we know better. Again, a difficult one to make sure you don't do, but so important.
Along with a million other things we teach our kids. I read once that the people your children will become is mostly set in their minds by the age of 6. The big things, anyway, about who they are as people. I can see this. I've worked in preschools and it's so apparent the type of people they are becoming, even at such a young age. And if you are a parent who stays at home, even if only most of the day, their primary teacher and example is you. Unfortunately (I don't mean that really, but it's a huge responsibility) that means I'm the one teaching my kids all their good, and bad, habits.
I don't think of these to frighten myself (or you!) or lay out a heavy responsibility or burden. Just to keep us all aware. Sometimes I think they should know certain things. Common sense, right? But really, they're being molded and shaped by us. If we don't teach it first, by example or word, who knows if they'll learn it. I think the biggest change I've experienced since becoming a parent is that I've made myself become a better person. Not for any noble reason other than I didn't want my kids to learn my bad habits. There are certain words my kids cannot use, and I don't use them either. They were common place for about 20 years in my vocab, until I had kids. I wouldn't think of using them now, because I want my kids to behave better. There are still so many areas that I want to improve on, so I can be that example. I'm glad Moose is not yet aware of hypocrisy, because when he is, I might end up in trouble. But hopefully I'll have covered all my bases by then and changed any more of my lingering bad habits.
So buck up parents. We are the examples, we are the teachers. Teach well. Their behavior is most certainly a reflection of you and your environment at home. (I can't say this would apply evenly for kids who spend a large amount of their days in day care.) I sure hope the reflection my kids are giving out is a good one. :)
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